


Being human

by Zummar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blue Eyes, Depressed Castiel, Eventual Smut, Facial Shaving, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Green Eyes, Human Castiel, M/M, Showers, Smut, Supportive Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 20:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11585868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zummar/pseuds/Zummar
Summary: When you've been an angel for as  long as Cas has, it's not all that easy losing your wings and having to walk the earth as a human. Luckily he has Dean to help him along the way.





	Being human

**Author's Note:**

> This was an entry for "Love the ships" on Tumblr, the conversation prompt was "What's that smell?"

He had been around for millions of years, but never had he felt as miserable as he had the last week. Seven days since he lost his wings, seven days  _ walking _ this earth, seven days knowing that every angel in this universe was out to get him. This was an all time low.

The first days he hadn’t slept or eaten, he simply didn’t know that he needed to, not until Dean, with mild force had led him into the bedroom across his, gave him a sandwich and a big glass of water before telling Cas to get undressed while he undid the bed. A dazed Cas had done as he’d been told, no arguments, to be honest, he didn’t even have the strength to argue.

His first sleep had lasted for almost 16 hours and waking up was actually pleasant, for a moment, until the world came crushing down over him again, before the pain from the scars on his back brought him back to the present. A present that was...he moaned,he didn't wanna think about it, and hadn't it been for the pressing feeling in his lower abdomen he would have turned over and fallen asleep again.

_ What was this? _

He got up, tried to sort his thoughts, he looked at the clock, 8.34am, maybe Dean was awake. 

Cas put on a gray t-shirt that someone left for him on the chair beside the bed. It was a little bit too big, it smelled of detergent and was soft against his skin.

He knocked on the door across the hallway “Dean?”

“Mmm, yeah?” 

He heard the muffled voice through the door and pushed the door handle down to open.

“Um...Dean?” Cas hesitated “There’s something wrong with me..I think.” he tilted his head to the side.

Dean heaved himself up against the headboard, stroking his face as he yawned. “What is it? Are you feeling sick?”

“No, or” he tried to find the words “it feels strange, here” he pointed at his crotch.  Dean’s eyes was automatically following Cas gesture.

“Oh, God, Cas!” Dean blushed when realizing where his eyes had fallen, he looked away for a second and then back to the angels face “How does it feels strange?”

“Oh, um it’s like a pressure, like I'm about to burst or something, it feels like I really need to focus for that not happen” he looked really miserable standing there in the doorway.

“You probably need to pee, Cas” 

“Oh….how? I mean...I think I sort of know how, but...How?”

Dean sighed. 

 

Being human wasn’t easy, Cas thought to himself as he cleaned the toilet seat. Of course Dean had instructed him on how to stand and pee, and aiming wasn’t as simple as Dean had made it out to be, not for a beginner at least. Cas wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to it, but the feeling as the pressure subsided was...fantastic. 

However, that feeling had only lasted so long before the darkness spread over him again. He wandered his way to the bedroom and tumbled back into bed, pulled the covers over himself and lay there, staring into the wall.

Periodically Dean would check in on him, Cas answered when spoken to but didn’t make any efforts to socialize. The wallpaper and the shadows cast by the bedside lamp was the only thing he payed any attention to, and when Dean came and forced him to eat because “You’re human now, you need it” he did as he was told. 

Food was a pleasant experience, he had to admit, but it had consequences; having to get up to use the bathroom.

For days this continued, until Dean on day seven forced him to get up.

“You need to take a shower, sunshine, ‘cause let me tell you, you don't exactly smell like roses” he tried to sound perky and upbeat but the worry shone through.

He helped his friend up from the bed, and with his hand on Cas’ back he guided him along the corridor towards the bathroom. Turning the last corner, they ran into Sam who looked dismayed by the angel’s appearance, the unshaved face, the greasy hair, the wrinkly t-shirt,  all adding up to a rather dire sight. 

Sam wrinkled his nose “What’s that smell?”

Cas met Sam’s eyes as he took a deep breath. “Me” he sighed “I believe that what you’re smelling is me”  he took a whiff in the area of his armpit and nodded, “definitely me”

“Yeah, I thought it was time for our dear friend here to get to know how a shower works”    


Cas squinted at Dean and sighed as he looked down at his feet. He didn’t really feel like learning new things,what he wanted was his wings back, his grace, this human thing was really tiring.

Dean followed Cas into the bathroom, told him to get undressed and placed him under the hot running water. He told him how to shampoo his hair and helped him scrub his back. Cas enjoyed this part of being a human. Showering wasn’t such a horrible thing, maybe he could get used to this?

 

****

 

Dean hated to see him like this, beaten, down, like nothing was ever going to make him happy again. Of course, Castiel normally didn’t have the most upbeat personality but this, this was just heartbreaking. A shower would hopefully help a bit on the way, and aiding him he saw a slight difference, a small light in his eyes. Dean felt cautiously optimistic when he saw the angel close his eyes as he let the hot water run over his face. He looked calm, almost like the water was washing away his past days trouble and Dean watched, lost in the moment. He finally came to his senses when Castiel asked about the conditioner “was it really something he needed to use and where was it supposed to be used”

  
  


****

 

Cas was handed a towel and shown  to the high chair Dean had brought in.

“Sit down, I’ll help you shave”

He drew the razor effortlessly through the forest of his beard, grazing the contours of his jaw while Cas adapted to his every move. Sitting there, Dean standing between his knees, feeling his hand on his face he couldn’t help but glancing up at the man. His green eyes focused, brows slightly frowned.

_ “He is beautiful”  _  He thought to himself watching Dean bite his lower lip in concentration, deep creases between furrowed brows.

“Aaand, I’m done!” Dean leaned back to admire his work. 

Cas stood up, just to find himself so close to Dean he could feel his breath against his naked cheek when he exhaled. Cas eyes lingered on Dean’s lips as he leaned in and gave him a kiss. 

For a split second he panicked. 

“ _ What was he doing?”  _   then he felt Dean’s hands trailing up his bare arms and relaxed just a little. The response from Dean made Cas’ heart beat so hard he could feel it pounding against his rib cage.

Kisses intensifying, hands exploring the other man’s body,  panting breaths, silent moaning the surreal feeling of being the only two people in the world.

_ Knock knock _

“Hi, guys i need the bathroom” Dean and Cas were jolted back to reality with brutal force, staring at each other, wide smiles on their faces. 

Dean cleared his throat. 

“Yeah, we’re just about done, he’s had an ‘extreme makeover -Bunker edition’” handing Cas his clothes he opened the door, Sam leaning against the opposing wall, towel and clean clothes folded in his arms.

Both Cas and Dean tried to look  indifferent to what had happened between them. They didn't dare to meet the others eyes and Cas quickly excused himself, pointing at the clothes he hadn't yet put on. 

“I, I better go...help him, you know, this thing, being human, not easy” Dean could hear that he was rambling nervously but he just couldn't stop. Sam’s brows shooting higher and higher for every word. “ well, you know, he's been having a rough time lately and I think he needs me” Dean’s eyes widened when he realized what he'd said “I mean, needs me, his friend and, I should just…”  he turned on his heels and left his brother in the corridor. 

 

Cas was standing in the middle of his room when Dean entered. 

“Cas, I...Hi” nervous tremor in his voice.

“Hi, Dean” there was light i his eyes again, a little smile showing in the corner of his mouth as he glanced sideways at the man in the doorway. 

Dean locked the door behind him and in two big steps he was standing in front of Cas, their lips locking before they even embraced each other. Dean’s hands trailing every muscle of Cas’ back, Cas’ arms around Dean’s neck, fingers raking through his hair. 

Cas fingers eagerly unbuttoning Dean’s shirt, sliding the plaid fabric off his shoulders, finally feeling his bare skin under the palms of his hands. Dean unbuckled his belt and almost simultaneously ripped the towel off Cas’ hips. Stepping out off his jeans he pressed against Cas’ naked body in a tight hug. 

Dean gently pushed Cas towards the bed, making him sit down and kneeled in front of him. He kissed every inch of Cas’s chest, let his tongue play with his nipple, kissing his abdomen and down to his thighs. Cas had never felt anything like this before, and when Dean’s hand softly stroke Cas’ erection he gasped. Dean took a firm grip of his cock and slowly brought it up and down.    
Cas was moaning, Dean gave him a crooked smile as he licked the tip and then took him in his mouth. Tongue swirling around him, lips tight around him. Cas looked down at the man giving him so much pleasure, he thrusted his hips upwards to come even deeper inside. Dean made a sound and the vibrations from voice transferred to Cas’ cock and further into his being. It was warm and wet and wonderful he thought as the tension increased.

“Oh, Dean…” he moaned when he the orgasm grew closer “I...don’t...know, what’s happening?” he panted, the feeling was overwhelming and he fell backwards onto the bed as he came deep inside Dean’s mouth. Dean jerking himself off, coming in big white puddles on the floor beside the bed as he eagerly drank all of Cas’ cum.

Dean crawled up into the bed. Cas held out his arm and Dean rested his head on his chest. Cas’ fingers played against Dean’s shoulder, he looked down at him, kissed his forehead and said with a smile “Maybe being human isn’t so bad”


End file.
